....M.ecca.....

...."in the islands of waikiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"...

So I've been on a shopping spree blitz the past two weeks...I'm usually a cautious spender, but recently I've been making miscellaneous purchases here and there...Take for instance today; I bought, new yoga pants and shirt, socks, more pillow cases and a rug for our worn carpet at home. All purchases I really don't need. Not bad , say you... But yesterday I bought a new bag and wallet...And a few days before I took my roomie shopping only to find myself buying a new top, pants and shoes, and lip scrub and balm..So why all these random purchases so close together??? Well to self diagnose myself as the constant over analyzer I am, I think I'm using shopping to distract myself. Distract myself from the anxiety of wondering when he is gonna call me, or text me..or why he hasn't since that past two weeks when I last saw him. Maybe he just not that into me. Blogs, books say that if he was he would have called or text by now. Was it something I said or did to make him ...

....that a girl goes thru.... So i slept most of the day. Got home around 11 last night after a dinner and movie with friends. Was welcomed by gastrointestinal discomfort at all levels, which only means the arrival of my dearest of aunts;Aunt Flo.Took a tylenol to tell Aunt Flo to "SHUT IT!". Watched a TV show online and passed out soon after.... Only to start my day this Saturday evening, lounging around the house. It's just one of those days. I just want to stay in and do nothing. No going out with friends, no running errands. Just stay in. I eventually found energy to make pancakes for my roomie and I, and do laundry so I have clean fresh scrubs to wear to work tomorrow night. So with a somewhat newfound energy I type this. But still it is just one of those days.

Talking on the phone today to my sister, she said something to me that struck me. Struck me because it meant a lot. Struck me because just when I thought I was taking a few steps back, I'm actually leaps from where I have been, and stepping further. One step at a time. Struck me because I now know that I'm not the girl I once was, but I'm actually a WOMAN. A woman who may not know everything but knows Some things for sure. So what did my sister tell me that was so profound. She told me this; "I'm PROUD of you, because you were OPEN to a new experience. You took a chance and did something that you would have thought you wouldn't have done, and had fun with it. You were able to go into this situation with no expectations, no guards were up, putting away old tendencies and you had FUN! And that's exactly what I did yesterday night. I woke up late Saturday morning, lounging with my roommate for a minute before I headed to my room. I checked my phone and low and...

I'm going to be so sore tomorrow. I can feel it already. My muscles are stretched and tender. A tenderness that will soon turn into an aching soreness every time I move. The kind of soreness that hurts but at the same time feels good , if that makes any kind of sense. What am I talking about, and for those whose mind went far out straight into the gutter, BRING IT BACK!!!!! I'm talking about YOGA!!!!!!! I never knew how much I enjoy yoga until today. Waking up at noon, after a long evening shift of work, I got up to eat a bowl of cereal and went back to bed. I laid there and contemplated on if I should just spend the rest of the day and night in bed, or if I should actually enjoy a day off and DO SOMETHING. So i decided yoga would be perfect. Plus I haven't been to yoga class in a while and really wanted to go to instructor who is just my pace. So I got up a 2, showered, made an egg sandwich on whole wheat bread, and watched Gattaca as I got ready for the gym. It was a dr...

she's a bad_____________________! That's Sexy (Feat. Andre 3000) by Q Tip on Grooveshark