....M.ecca.....

What is now currently playing on repeat in my home, and on the road on my phone Crowned & Kissed by Esperanza Spalding on Grooveshark Hold On Me by Esperanza Spalding on Grooveshark Smile Like That by Esperanza Spalding on Grooveshark by the beautiful and talented Ms. Esperanza Spalding! Check out her entire album Radio Music Society for more!

...."in the islands of waikiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii!"...

So I've been on a shopping spree blitz the past two weeks...I'm usually a cautious spender, but recently I've been making miscellaneous purchases here and there...Take for instance today; I bought, new yoga pants and shirt, socks, more pillow cases and a rug for our worn carpet at home. All purchases I really don't need. Not bad , say you... But yesterday I bought a new bag and wallet...And a few days before I took my roomie shopping only to find myself buying a new top, pants and shoes, and lip scrub and balm..So why all these random purchases so close together??? Well to self diagnose myself as the constant over analyzer I am, I think I'm using shopping to distract myself. Distract myself from the anxiety of wondering when he is gonna call me, or text me..or why he hasn't since that past two weeks when I last saw him. Maybe he just not that into me. Blogs, books say that if he was he would have called or text by now. Was it something I said or did to make him ...

....that a girl goes thru.... So i slept most of the day. Got home around 11 last night after a dinner and movie with friends. Was welcomed by gastrointestinal discomfort at all levels, which only means the arrival of my dearest of aunts;Aunt Flo.Took a tylenol to tell Aunt Flo to "SHUT IT!". Watched a TV show online and passed out soon after.... Only to start my day this Saturday evening, lounging around the house. It's just one of those days. I just want to stay in and do nothing. No going out with friends, no running errands. Just stay in. I eventually found energy to make pancakes for my roomie and I, and do laundry so I have clean fresh scrubs to wear to work tomorrow night. So with a somewhat newfound energy I type this. But still it is just one of those days.

Talking on the phone today to my sister, she said something to me that struck me. Struck me because it meant a lot. Struck me because just when I thought I was taking a few steps back, I'm actually leaps from where I have been, and stepping further. One step at a time. Struck me because I now know that I'm not the girl I once was, but I'm actually a WOMAN. A woman who may not know everything but knows Some things for sure. So what did my sister tell me that was so profound. She told me this; "I'm PROUD of you, because you were OPEN to a new experience. You took a chance and did something that you would have thought you wouldn't have done, and had fun with it. You were able to go into this situation with no expectations, no guards were up, putting away old tendencies and you had FUN! And that's exactly what I did yesterday night. I woke up late Saturday morning, lounging with my roommate for a minute before I headed to my room. I checked my phone and low and...

I'm going to be so sore tomorrow. I can feel it already. My muscles are stretched and tender. A tenderness that will soon turn into an aching soreness every time I move. The kind of soreness that hurts but at the same time feels good , if that makes any kind of sense. What am I talking about, and for those whose mind went far out straight into the gutter, BRING IT BACK!!!!! I'm talking about YOGA!!!!!!! I never knew how much I enjoy yoga until today. Waking up at noon, after a long evening shift of work, I got up to eat a bowl of cereal and went back to bed. I laid there and contemplated on if I should just spend the rest of the day and night in bed, or if I should actually enjoy a day off and DO SOMETHING. So i decided yoga would be perfect. Plus I haven't been to yoga class in a while and really wanted to go to instructor who is just my pace. So I got up a 2, showered, made an egg sandwich on whole wheat bread, and watched Gattaca as I got ready for the gym. It was a dr...

she's a bad_____________________! That's Sexy (Feat. Andre 3000) by Q Tip on Grooveshark

...It's been a long time since i've did one of these...so here goes a list of totally random things..whatever pops into my mind... Leggo! *Instagraming-Love love love *I'm obsessed with caffeine. Maybe obsessed isn't a good word. More like ADDICTED!! Not a day goes by that I don't drink the stuff, in any form-via coffee, diet coke or any caffeinated beverage of choice, tea!! Most days I even do a combo of all three...Yes U do try to squeeze in H2O...But I can't function without my caffeine. Maybe it's working night shift that exasperated and existing problem who knows...I'm craving my next fix (cherry doctor pepper) as I type this now...welp! **R*A*T*C*H*E*T tv...Since we are going with obsessions. I love love love ratchet television programming. Look up ratchet in the Urban dictionary for those of you don't know the meaning of the word. But if I list off examples such as Real Housewives of Atlanta, Love and Hip Hop, Basketball Wives just to name of...

blaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!! so one of my newest obsessions is playing with instagram!!!! taking random pictures and customizing them and uploading them your followers to see...so if u can't wait for my random and spaced out blogs catch me on instagram :0)...and twitter(@Mikabee1103) ..you can tweet me!

I feel I have to write this to get this off my chest. I feel like although I've said and told myself that; " I'm okay and just fine". That " I've grown so much these past few years and learned a lot". All statements which are true, There is still some bitterness that I need to let go. To fully and truly move on and get the closure that I"m somewhat in need of. I fell....and I think I fell hard! Looking back I tell myself that I should have not have let my heart get the best of me. That I should have listened to this little thing I know I can't ignore now. A little thing called a woman's intuition. That little whisper from deep inside. That little whisper from friends. That little whisper from God, that told me you weren't the one. That little whisper that told me from the get go to leave you alone. That little whisper that wondered why it took so damn long for you to make a move. That little whisper that told me that maybe there was som...

I know this is weird, writing a letter to you when you don't really exist yet, at least not in this physical world. I guess as they say in our culture, you haven't even been thought of yet. But I guess that is not really true for me, because here I am thinking of you. I think about you a lot, and I've been thinking of you for some time. Ever since I was a little girl I dreamed of you, not really understanding that desire of wanting you being a child just myself at the time. But now here i am, a decade older, at a time in life where most have began or are well into there childbearing and childrearing phase of life. And I'm far from that right now but still I dream of you. I imagine and daydream about what you would look like. How much of me you'd inherit. How big your eyes would be, how curly your hair is gonna be, what color would you skin tone be, how you'd sound, what you would smell like and feel like in my arms. The other night at work while in the nursery,...

..so i know it's been a minute.... nine months to be exact since i posted a blog... i don't really know what my excuse is except life...life has happened is happening and is here to stay for i hope decades and decades to come...and here i am approaching the end of my twenties...okay...i have a few more years left so now at 27 i'm in the middle of the mid or late twenties and i'm learning so much about myself and have a TON and i mean TON more to learn... ...i mean i'm just getting this taking care of my own self thing down...that includes paying monthly and misc. bills, rent, beginning my career on a mother baby care unit, social life (or more specifically attempting to maintain a social life in between the whirlwind of my body's circadian rhythm from rotating between evening and night shifts at the hospital)...and with my parents now living in north carolina, i'm truly TRULY on my own down here in hawaii..so life has grasped me by collar, shaked me around...