beautiful me...
have you ever looked at yourself in the mirror... i mean REALLY look at yourself...from your hair down to your toes and every spot in between...addressing every highlight and flaw...EXAMINATION...ASSESSMENT..whatever you want to call it..
well today is the first time in AGES...and i mean AGES..where i did just that...
i was ready for it...excited almost... i never thought this day would come!...i'm not joking...and i'm proud of myself..
why?...
because for so long i have been afraid to do so..ashamed even..asking myself questions like why would i do that? what purpose would it serve..i'm okay..just fine the way i am..
really now? i ask myself now..today... if i'm just okay, fine the way i am..then what am i scared of?
let me tell you what i was scared of... i was scared of ME... i have gone so long thinking that i wasn't good enough.. i wasn't worthy.. i wasn't beautiful...i was just okay...fine the way i was...from my hair down to my toes and every spot in between..
that was then..now is here..
i'm almost a quarter century!..landmark!.. today is a new day...
and yesterday i told myself there is NOTHING to be scared of baby!...i'm ME and i'm proud myself.. i may not be beautiful to some but i'm going to be beautiful to someone someday...damn i know i'm already beautiful to some and what really matters is that i'm beautiful to MYSELF.. because at the end of the day I am who i have to answer to...nobody but myself..
see she understands me without any explanation...she knows when i'm happy, content, sad, pissed, discouraged without me saying a word..she's seen me through 24 years..she stood for me when i thought i couldn't even stand...she took some physical and emotional blows but came out with only a scar to show for it..and I was telling myself that i she was unworthy to be touched or even LOOKED at...HAAAA!!
sorry baby..it's time to grow up...and i did...today
it was kinda of liberating...kinda..what am i talking about... it WAS liberating..and kinda of fun too.. i liked it...something that was hidden for so long finally had the opportunity to show her face..and look back at me..
and she was BEAUTIFUL!! i'd admired her...for the first time...in a loooonnnnggg time...and i can't wait to see her again tomorrow!....
LIES! i look at her everytime i have an excuse to now;)..even if i have to find one..sigh...
well today is the first time in AGES...and i mean AGES..where i did just that...
i was ready for it...excited almost... i never thought this day would come!...i'm not joking...and i'm proud of myself..
why?...
because for so long i have been afraid to do so..ashamed even..asking myself questions like why would i do that? what purpose would it serve..i'm okay..just fine the way i am..
really now? i ask myself now..today... if i'm just okay, fine the way i am..then what am i scared of?
let me tell you what i was scared of... i was scared of ME... i have gone so long thinking that i wasn't good enough.. i wasn't worthy.. i wasn't beautiful...i was just okay...fine the way i was...from my hair down to my toes and every spot in between..
that was then..now is here..
i'm almost a quarter century!..landmark!.. today is a new day...
and yesterday i told myself there is NOTHING to be scared of baby!...i'm ME and i'm proud myself.. i may not be beautiful to some but i'm going to be beautiful to someone someday...damn i know i'm already beautiful to some and what really matters is that i'm beautiful to MYSELF.. because at the end of the day I am who i have to answer to...nobody but myself..
see she understands me without any explanation...she knows when i'm happy, content, sad, pissed, discouraged without me saying a word..she's seen me through 24 years..she stood for me when i thought i couldn't even stand...she took some physical and emotional blows but came out with only a scar to show for it..and I was telling myself that i she was unworthy to be touched or even LOOKED at...HAAAA!!
sorry baby..it's time to grow up...and i did...today
it was kinda of liberating...kinda..what am i talking about... it WAS liberating..and kinda of fun too.. i liked it...something that was hidden for so long finally had the opportunity to show her face..and look back at me..
and she was BEAUTIFUL!! i'd admired her...for the first time...in a loooonnnnggg time...and i can't wait to see her again tomorrow!....
LIES! i look at her everytime i have an excuse to now;)..even if i have to find one..sigh...
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